Before deciding to opt for a divorce right away, more and more couples are choosing first to implement a trial period.
In the United States and the United Kingdom, this phenomenon has long been known as a ‘trial divorce’ or ‘trial separation’.
Implementing a pause during marital or relationship difficulties, during which spouses or partners take some distance from each other, can be very meaningful and lead to important insights. During this period, spouses or partners try to determine whether they want to give the relationship another chance, either under renewed conditions or if the divorce has become inevitable.
Can this be done just like that? And what are the points of attention or pitfalls?
The importance of a provisional arrangement for the sake of the children
A separation of the parents, whether temporary or not, obviously has the greatest impact on the children. They will suddenly be confronted with a new reality, with alternating contact with one parent or the other.
It is important that parents communicate this to their children in a timely and appropriate manner, taking into account each child’s age separately.
Furthermore, reassuring the children and providing them with the necessary perspective is important. In this regard, parents are best off communicating as much as possible together, as parents, emphasizing that they will do everything in their power to ensure that everything goes smoothly and that the strong relationships between the parents and the children are not compromised.
To ensure that the children do not experience too much change in the short term, it may be considered during the trial separation to apply the principle of ‘birdnesting’ and remain in undivided ownership of the family home if it is owned. This allows the children to stay in their familiar environment for the time being while the parents alternate their stays at home.
Clear communication avoids further conflicts
Sufficient attention should also be paid to communication and making clear agreements. At the beginning of the trial separation, you should agree on how long it will be applied and by what time the spouses or partners will provide each other with more clarity.
Usually, a concrete date is agreed upon when the spouses or partners will sit together to discuss plans. In the meantime, a therapist or coach can also be consulted to support the parties.
When spouses or partners have difficulty making temporary agreements, they can always turn to a recognized mediator.
Clear agreements about the financial aspect are of paramount importance
In this regard, it is also important to determine the fixed monthly expenses and who will pay them during the trial separation.
It may also be interesting to inventory all assets and make an inventory of valuable goods (such as artworks and objects, designer clothing, jewelry, gold, vintage cars, etc.) still located in the family home to avoid later discussions in the event of a ‘loss.’
A trial separation, possibly not without danger, regarding generated income as well as asset growth
A trial separation has the advantage of allowing parties to consider the next step they wish to take.
An important danger, however, is that parties may mistakenly assume that their financial situation has been sufficiently arranged.
Incorrectly, it is assumed that certain costs exclusively paid by one of the factually or legally cohabiting partners during this period can be recovered. However, this is not always the case.
The situation of spouses married under the legal system also deserves attention. The income they receive during the marriage – and thus also during the trial period – is fundamentally communal. Even if the spouses receive their income (salary, wages, dividends) in a “personal” account, these funds still have a communal character. They can thus be subject to a possible later liquidation and distribution.
The spouse who engages in self-employed activities should also be extra cautious. The performances delivered, the turnover, and the profits created can still be realized for the benefit of the marital estate.
Therefore, it is important to pay sufficient attention to implementing such a trial period and to the timeframe within which it can reasonably be justified.
In case of doubt or discussion, it is, therefore, appropriate to contact a lawyer specializing in family law and marital property law to obtain a clear picture of the dangers associated with a longer trial period. Thus, it is clear to the wealthier spouse what they can expect during and after such a period.
What happens after the trial period or ‘trial divorce’?
A trial separation can lead to reconciliation of the spouses or partners or may result in a definitive break.
The following hypotheses are possible, for example;
- New marriage agreements
Parties decide to remain married for the time being but agree to apply different marriage agreements in the future and conclude a new marriage contract. Think of spouses who were initially married under the legal system but now choose to adopt the separation of property regime.
The most advantageous matrimonial property regime can be discussed with one’s counsel, but discussions can also be organized with a recognized mediator.
- Divorce through a mediation process with a recognized mediator;
Our mediation office, Auguste Mediation, guides parties and spouses in their search for a comprehensive negotiated settlement in the context of their divorce. A mediation process offers all kinds of advantages to the parties involved. You can find more information about this on our website.
- Divorce procedure
If mediation is not the most suitable option, the spouses or partners can consult their lawyer separately. Keyser Advocaten has built up special expertise in handling complex and international divorce cases over the past decades. You can read more about this via the following link.
