If your child becomes a victim of sexual abuse, it feels as if your world suddenly comes to a halt. And if the abuse happens to be perpetrated by your ex-partner, you find yourself in a nightmare scenario. “How could this ever happen?” you ask yourself. Suddenly, you’re thrust into a reality you never could have anticipated, a situation you couldn’t have imagined even in your darkest dreams.
Below, we offer some advice on coping with this profound event and being there for your child during this particularly difficult time.
How to have a conversation with your child?
Listening attentively to your child is invaluable. Initiate the conversation calmly and openly without assuming anything for your child. It’s essential not to ask suggestive questions that could influence the child’s story. Stay patient and show understanding, even if your child decides not to share everything or alters the truth a bit. At the end of such a conversation, it’s important to express your appreciation that you’ve had this moment together.
There’s often a strong inclination to reward your child after such a conversation, perhaps by giving them sweets or preparing their favorite meal. However, it’s important to be cautious with this: you don’t want your child to share this information in the future solely in hopes of a reward.
How to deal with your child’s emotions?
Children can react very differently to abuse. Some may be sad, others angry, or even withdrawn. Your role as a parent is to be a source of calm and stability. Try to remain calm, no matter how distressing the stories of abuse may be. Show that you’re there to support them and that you’ll get through this difficult time together.
If your child sees you remaining calm, they’ll feel safer to keep talking and processing.
Why is it important to take care of yourself in such a situation?
To be fully there for your child, it’s essential that you take care of yourself as well. Such a situation causes immense stress, and it’s entirely normal for you as a parent to experience intense emotions. Remember that your well-being is just as important as your child’s. So don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professional counselors.
Is it advisable to seek external help?
You don’t have to go alone in these dark times; professional help can be a welcome beacon of light. There are multiple supportive organizations and reporting centers for child abuse where you can also seek psychological support. Seeking external help is highly recommended. Psychological counseling can greatly assist both you and your child in processing the abuse.
Additionally, a lawyer specialized in sexual offenses can be invaluable in assisting you. They can advise on legal steps and how best to protect your and your child’s interests.
